Boned on Boneyard!
Yes, it's that time again, folks! Rusty Russellson here to bring you part two of our program covering the exciting series of game(s) played in the Russell Cup Invitational Season 2.
In our last bulletin, we brought you the results of the the terran and zerg mirror match in the Debris Field. Fans were shocked, awed and possibly impressed by the change in game dynamics brought about by the Russell Cup Invitational Season 2. Yes, folks, it's a Whole New Ballgame out here.
The inclusion of the islands map as a battleground was a decision questioned by Many, but those doubts have been crushed under the proverbial boot after yesterday's match. Today, we cover a return to the more traditional form of Starcraft: land battles. And what better place to stage such elaborate battles than the scorched desert of Korhal?
Brewdwarf and Jimbotron, known collectively as the protorobotronic entity Jimbwarf, would be facing off against the hard-trying team of Braynor and Gamblor Combined, calling themselves Team Effort.
The deadly dance of feint and parry began even before the match as Gamblor sported the reaper portrait in the game lobby. With his race set as Terran and a landscape well suited for their use, would he try some sort of maneuver with the dreaded and arguably cheesy unit? And if so, why would he announce it before the game even began? Only time would tell...
The early game held its share of Give and Take, with keen "Gl Hf" given, and powerful Smack Talk taken as both sides raced for a developmental advantage.
Exploiting the Superior Intellect of his protoss foes, it was Gamblor who made the first move in a maneuver that had fans doing a Double-Take in disbelief when Gamblor intentionally showed his opponents an SCV holding gold minerals. Stunning!
Already?? Gamblor attempts to Fake Out the competition, using his trademark Mind Games. Brewdwarf falls for it completely.
"Yeah, at first I was shocked. Why would anyone show that they had the gold expansion? I thought he was going to lose the game for sure because of that. But then my buddy Mike told me he didn't really have the gold, and then I kind of figured it out later. He sure had me fooled!"
- A fan comments on the maneuver.
The Protoss are a crafty foe, and responded in kind with mind games of their own. Fans were equally baffled and shocked when Brewdwarf managed to repel the first wave of attack without using a single unit using a well-timed supply block to scare off the attacking SCV.
Brewdwarf leverages his mastery of build orders and timing attacks in a well-timed supply block. The SCV soon retreats...
Faced with apparently imminent destruction, the SCV was ordered to retreat... in the wrong direction! Rather than retreat to the Zerg and Terran refuge to the north-east, Gamblor's SCV took off in the opposite direction towards the vacant south-west starting location, where it promptly began to wall off the ramp with a row of barracks.
Jimbotron's intense probe micro crushes Gamblor's scheme as it slips past his defenses to reveal an empty base.
With Brewdwarf steadily teching to void rays and Jimbotron's mindgame-crushing probe building cannons in an abandoned corner of the map, the pressure was on to Make a Move.
"Muuuhuuhuuhuu", victory is assured. Gamblor reveals his evil plan in a dramatic fashion. Probes scurry away in terror.
Brewdwarf offers what few probes remain in exchange for the reapers. Gamblor refuses the gambit...
Only to be crushed by Jimbotron's secret cannons on the return trip.
Deceit layered upon deceit as events played out. Even as the dark templar void rays parried the reapers, the Protoss base was exposed as Braynor's zergling horde tunneled its way into the rear-most protoss base via nydus worm. "Oh, the humanity!" fans exclaimed as zerglings tore into the robotic probes before being fried Extra Crispy by the hovering void rays.
Run, zerglings, run! Zerglings tear apart a nexus before rushing the next mineral line.
Shortly after the devastating zergling attack was fended off by intense probe sacrificing and nexus-disassembling, the enraged Brewdwarf counter-attacks with void rays, having somehow guessed the correct location of the real Terran base. According to a reliable source, Braynor's scouting overlord was spotted early on, giving away their starting position. Having possibly left his base defenseless on purpose, Gamblor watched as the majority of his outpost was reduced to rubble. Interestingly enough, both of his engineering bays were left completely untouched by the attacking forces.
Brewdwarf's void rays focus their beams on Gamblor's orbital command center. Gamblor counters with reapers.
The void rays were eventually stopped and Brewdwarf, known for his intense unit micro, was left to pilot a trio of phoeniixen. These would prove a minor annoyance as they picked off defenseless SCVs rebuilding in the north-western corner of the desert.
Several of Jimbotron's excursion forces, led by Brewdwarf himself, were soundly crushed by overwhelming zergling numbers. Though this would seem like a novice maneuver to anyone else, true Russell Cup Invitational fans knew that this was all Part of the Plan, and that a few dozen stalkers sacrificed here and there would lower Team Effort's expectations, setting them up for the inevitable Big Play.
Jimbwarf's expert use of force fields on a daring raid on the New Gamblonian Nuclear Testing Facilities.
The attack was doomed to fail, but not before inflicting Significant Casualties on Braynor's ground forces. Left with no other visible option, he took to the air.
Smack talk continued as Braynor offered up a pre-emptive gg while morphing his corruptors into brood lords, changing them forever as they rained heart-shaped confetti down on the secret cannons of Azeroth.
Brewdwarf's reaction to Braynor's Extreme Rudeness.
"So rude. Even if you win, you are a loser. Aint nothing that can save you."
-Brewdwarf
However, having morphed all of his corruptors, Braynor was left defenseless against the expert piloting and hard micro of Brewdwarf's Phoeniixen squadron. New corruptors were on the way to chase them off, but it would be Too Late for Braynor's broodlords.
Birds of war dogfighting high above New Gamblor City.
With their outposts cleared, the Protoss force's main base soon found itself under siege as Jimbwarf's forces fought for their robotic lives with fierce determination. It was only a matter of time until they were crushed under the might of Team Effort... or so it would seem.
Due to Unknown Causes (though many fans speculate this was probably due to an experimental supercomputer attaining sentience), the launch protocol on 20+ nuclear silos housed in New Gamblonia was triggered. Nukes soared through the skies and rained down all around not only on Jimbwarf's fortifications, but all across the surface of the planet, sparing none. All were shocked as they ran for cover, fearing for their lives and developing a phobia of tiny red dots.
Quite possibly the worst observer ever.
When the dust settled, all that remained of Team Effort was a single Spine Crawler and a rag-tag group of survivors. Yet despite Gamblor's efforts to repair it, it remained at a mere one (1) hit point.
The game was over in a flash in classic Russell Cup Invitational form. Fans were in awe of the new 2v2 format as Brewdwarf's signature Dark Templar transition was perfectly executed by none other than his own teammate, Jimbotron! Jimbwarf proves that it is a Force To Be Reckoned with as it takes the series 1-0. The enigmatic Hamurglar has yet to be seen, and many are speculating on how well his unknown and mysterious style will mesh with the new tournament format. This is Rusty Russellson, signing off.
"When will humanity learn? I'll repair the ^&*@ out of this game... out of this civilization... out of this race..." Gamblor seen wandering wastes after dropping devastating philo-bombs.
From the data-files found in the wreckage of one of Jimbwarf's observers. A rag-tag group of survivors suffers the effects of radiation fallout.
Many are still speculating as to the cause of this surprising reversal. Could it truly have been a freak accident? Could Gamblor, known for his daring gambits and good looks, have tried some stunning maneuver or variation on the classic forfeit rush? Unfortunately, he was unavailable for comment, having once again disappeared after vowing to "repair the %^& out of this race.."
Unknown causes, or clearly bsing? Photographic evidence taken moments before a devastating explosion took Braynor almost completely Out Of The Game. You, the reader, decide.
